I do - More or Less

A wisdom was passed to me few months back that it takes about 7 years to settle down, develop a relationship and build the so called trust between an indian couple. Well, how many of you think thats true? We will celebrate our 6th anniversary this year and things are definetly on track:-) I would just add that it is a kind of an Exponential_function, if you put time on X and the above said qualities on Y.

But, what is the pre-marital story? More often, is an indian wedding end result of a love story? No way! Many of my friends (non-indians) get so amused to know that we can hold an stranger's hand and commit to a life-long journey (literally) without getting to know each other well. I happen to have an email in my archive describing exactly how it happened for me and it still lits my face like the new year ball in big apple. Here is a copy with minor edits:

----- Original Message -----
From: "Sushant Kumar"
To: "Pankaj Saini"
Sent: Wednesday, March 13, 2002 2:16 PM
Subject: RE: ...

saini,
....
everything just happend in a span of a week..i didnt know i will take such an important decision of my life so quickly..well, my parents had seen this girl for me..and they said she is good for me..i tried usual tactics and told them i was not prepared for it right now..but they insisted that i shud talk to her atleast once..so i did..first one was a pretty short, yet sweet one..she was kind of nervous and i was even more nervous than her..but, generally she sounded ok..so, i decided to call her up again..this time we were more comfortable with each other and talked for almost an hour..she sounded even cooler..no frills..but, quite understanding and emotional(as she puts it:-))..man, i cudnt stop myself to ask her if she wud like to make it together for the longest journey of the life..and answer i got was a sweet yes..so, i am done..my half life got over..another half just started..we now talk each sunday..things are looking good..i dont think she is lucky to get me, but its vice vera:-)

so, how does that sound?? boring way to start this half of the life..is it?? it also happens to be the good old way..isnt it?..
....
chal..
Sushant

More or less, thats the way it ends up with an "I do". So, we continue to hold hands and even have backup plan for our old age, a boy, who would hold our hands and help us walk;-) Now that's not true at all, not here, not anywhere.

PS: why did I used to have double dots at the end of each line then? Dont quite remember. And why did we only talk on sundays, cause it was freaking costly to talk for 5 hours! Although, as usual my smarter half did devise a plan later on to do it more frequently:-). Tune in later for thoughts on early days of married life.

How do you look like a dad?

"You dont even look like a daddy", one of my friend had this casual remarks for me while chatting over lunch. So, how does a dad or more specifically a new dad look like? Tired red eyes from sleepless nights? Drive a van? More responsible (how do you bring that in your looks though)?

The birth process itself was a rocky, up and down kind of adventure (more on that later). It has been almost six months now and I am definetly sunk into this reality that I am a dad. I cannt wait to lift and hug my bundle of joy as soon as I get home. In fact, my wife always has to remind me that I have to wash my hands before I even get close to him:-). And boy does he return the favor. As soon as he figures out that I am around, a twinkle in his eyes and a welcoming smile with his lips stretched all the way out. Then a sudden jolt of the body, mouth open as big as he could with sweet giggles in between. He will start cycling his legs like he is close to winning the race of his life. He knows, it is dadda kind of play time.

My better half takes care of not waking me up at nights, which may explain the not so sleepless eyes. I do offer her a good sleep over the weekends though:-) She would consider any car, but a van and that may explain why she is still driving a CRV and I even started riding motorcycle (which I consider more disciplined and knowing things better around you). The responsible part is subjective in my opinion, let me know if you can describe that look for me.

Riding the wheels

I dont quite remember, how it got into my mind. May be a surge in motorcyles parked in the office parking lot or a concern that my old car will die pretty soon or probably one of those things that I got to do. Oh well, I did start riding, even after slight social resistance and bunch of you gotta be careful advice. The learning itself was an adventure and needs a page devoted to it.

You know what, not everybody can ride. I mean you will see necks turning from a BMW, that guy can afford five of these, but it is not something that you buy, gas and go. And dont even think about it, if you are a gotta-talk-on-cellphone-while-i-drive kind of a guy or gal. Perfect example of do one thing at a time.

My younger brother also drives a motorcycle back in india. It is different there. It is slow, crowded, a primary vehicle for most of the middle class with 4 family members. He sent me a teaser - trying to be young when you are getting older big brother. Well, I am not that old btw:-), friends tell me that I dont even look like a dad (more on that later). My answer to him was - you are a kid buddy. Life starts when you get close to thirty and no kidding I do believe it does.

So, what I have liked about the bike? Yes it is like riding the wheels. The sound, the vibration, thighs stuck to the gas tank, leaning (oh yeah!), shifting, gushing wind and not to mention trying to accelerate fast when my 250cc powerhouse says, thats it buddy, get a bigger one if you want to do more. Even, filling the tank is not like you swipe the card, put the nozzle in and kill 5 mins looking at your fellow bus (vans) "not in service" mode drivers until it clicks automagically. You got to hold the nozzle with one hand at a proper distance, pull up the skirt:-) with the other hand and look into the tank until the gas just gets below the neck. And, you release it right then, it is all about timing.



So, what next? I am not taking freeways yet. Not even sure, if I am interested in doing that. I think I rather like city curves and highways. Take those backroads someday, when I have developed enough confidence and got a better tire.

And? Fly a plane some day. To tell you the truth, I dont know how this one got to my mind too.